She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
