It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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