i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
