somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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