:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
