that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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