the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
