so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
