anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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