she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
