lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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