We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
