I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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