Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
