Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
