i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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