I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
