Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
