Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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