So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
