Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
