I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
