Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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