It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
