I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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