Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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