That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize