CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
