i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
