I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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