Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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