Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
