Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
