O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize