im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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