i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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