You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
