im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
