drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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