so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
