And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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