That's when you crack a 10am beer
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
