You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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