just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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