my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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