the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
