Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
