nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
