I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
