and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
