So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
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