it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
