They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
