my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
