I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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