My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
She needs sedatives and a leash
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
