i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
