I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
it was like having sex with a tree stump
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize