This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i just had sex bonerless
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
