do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
