covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
