Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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